Monday, September 28, 2009

And Another Thing...

What Is Breaking News???
A few months ago, I heard a retired Pittsburgh broadcaster talk about "breaking news" during her career a couple of decades ago. She said that back then, the newsroom broke into a broadcast when an event had occurred that changed our lives. "The president has been shot!" "There's been a disaster with the space mission" or "Tornado warning issued for six local counties!" But lately, we've been treated to breaking news stories such as "Shooting on Pittsburgh's North Side" and "Accident without injuries at a downtown intersection, traffic may be affected." Today though, I heard the best yet: "This breaking news just in... Large banner has broken loose in the wind... Crews are trying to tie it down!" Truely life-changing!!!

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Real Issues

Why don't we protest the stuff that really matters?

Monday, September 7, 2009

A Grave Misunderstanding

Prior to the Labor Day break, students in a horticulture class went on a campus field trip to learn about soil composition. The class' instructor dug up a section of earth beside the greenhouse. The dig measured about 2 feet square and was no more than 6 inches deep. The next day, a Horticulture staff member came across the disturbed earth, which had a root protruding from the center, and thought the former hole was a grave possibly harboring the remains of god-knows-who. This misconception was bolstered by the fact that the protruding root was mistaken for a cross.
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As pictured here, it is easy to see the similarity. Based on this information, the discovering staff member called the police who conducted an extensive criminal investigation and, of course, found no decaying corpse.
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There are those who wonder how someone could panic and call the police over some possible foul-play. Those people obviously never ate in the South Campus cafeteria.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

"If a man will not work, he shall not eat"

- Captian John Smith, Jamestown Settlement, 1609

Steeler Fans are Truely Everywhere

...even in Virginia!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

What's New From Idiot and Moron?

Gay marriage ice cream: Here is the latest from Ben & Jerry, (idiot & moron), who have been actively trying to raise monies to free a man convicted and imprisoned for the murder of a Philadelphia police officer in 1981. Mumia Abu-Jamal cowardly shot Officer Daniel Faulkner in the back and then, while the officer lay in the street, Abu-Jamal stood over the officer and shot him again in the head. What will be the next social crusade for idiot & moron? Ice cream flavors for the pedophile?